Author: Tom Das
Mental Health and Non-Duality: Depression, anxiety, trauma, addiction, low self-esteem (and how I may be able to help)
Also see my various other articles on mental health and spirituality here
WHICH OF THESE THREE GROUPS (SEE BELOW) DO YOU FALL INTO?
Some people come to this teaching quite depressed, with low self-esteem, and other psychological issues such as anxiety, varying levels of addiction, or just being in a psychological rut that they cannot seem to get out of. They look to spiritual teachings as a solution, and they look to self enquiry as a way out.
The truth is that ultimately the solution IS spiritual and self enquiry IS the way out. Without genuine self-realization suffering will inevitably continue on some level.
For some, all they need is self enquiry. This will cure them totally and fully. In truth this is all any of us really need.
However there are many seekers I come across who have psychological issues or life issues (issues with relationships, money, work, family) which (in their mind and in their experience) prevent them from deeply engaging with self-enquiry. These psychological issues and habitual tendencies prevent their self enquiry and spiritual practice from going deeper.
Sometimes this manifests simply as not having much desire to actually do or engage with self-inquiry despite having a relatively good understanding of the teachings.
For many years now I have been working 1 to 1 with apparent people to unblock these psychological issues and other life issues such as relationship issues, money issues and self-esteem/confidence issues. I am happy to say that my success rate is very high 😊 and I have guided many people to heal their deepest psychological wounds. Often this happens relatively quickly, just in a few sessions, but sometimes it can take much longer. It depends on the person, their openness to truth, their willingness to look at themselves and question their own beliefs, as well as our connection and their resonance with what/how I share.
I should say at this point that if you have deep psychopathology, such as psychosis or severe PTSD type symptoms or recurrent suicidal thoughts, then it is best to see a therapist who specialises in these areas and not me. Whilst I do have many years of experience treating people who have serious mental health issues, I’m not a qualified psychotherapist.
However if you have milder psychological issues that are getting you down, or if you feel you are in a rut, if you are having relationship patterns or other habitual tendencies that repeat themselves, if you have issues with your self-esteem and daily levels of happiness, then these are issues I can probably help you quite a lot with, especially if you have tried other things which have not worked.
(These are often the people that come to me! People have tried everything else that hasn’t quite yet worked!)
And often one-to-one sessions with me have resulted in a great opening, a great opening to happiness and love and connection, which is what the teaching is actually about.
I have found that the way I work with people varies quite a lot, it can vary a huge amount actually, as the way I respond depends on the person I am speaking with and the issues they are confronted with. I like to think that I meet people where they are and so each person hopefully receives the teaching that they need from me.
I would like to make a point here that this teaching is not about breaking you down, deconstructing and destroying you. That is the intellectual approach. Quite the contrary, this teaching is about building you up, connecting with what you actually are, which is something wonderful…and then going beyond that too, beyond any notions of a person who can connect with something greater than themselves. This is discovering the actual truth of what you are, which is total consciousness, total compassion, total love, total bliss, the end of suffering, Divine Oneness… And it is just simple Being devoid of any duality or illusion.
So perhaps you fall into one of these three groups:
1) If your self enquiry and spiritual practise is going well, then you probably don’t need me at all.
2) If your self enquiry is ok but could be better, or your motivation is lacking or your understanding is not quite there, then I would recommend you come to satsang meetings with me. These meetings provide a very powerful energy and environment in which not only are you energetically drawn much deeper (at least this is the feedback I get from people who attend satsang with me), but doubts and questions can also be resolved on the verbal and conceptual level too. Some people only need to attend a few meetings to have their doubts resolved, but others will need to attend many meetings regularly in order for the teachings to go in more fully and deeply and have the desired effect. There is a charge to attend these sessions, but if you cannot afford this charge, you can pay a lower amount or come for free if you message me first. In this way nobody is excluded from the teaching.
3) if you have psychological or relationship or life issues that are keeping you unhappy and distracting you/preventing you going deeply into your self enquiry, then consider booking a one-to-one session with me. There is a one-to-one fund available to partly or wholly cover the cost of this for people who are genuinely engaged with this apparent path but who cannot afford to pay for a one-to-one session with me – see my website tomdas.com for details. This fund is largely supported by donations from people who themselves have greatly benefited from 1 to 1 sessions with me and would like to see other people also benefit.
I write this in the hope that this information is helpful to you and benefits you on your journey.
If anybody reading this has had a good experience of one-to-one sessions with me, or of attending satsang meetings, or can otherwise vouch for what I’ve said above, please consider sharing this in the comments
Please also read and ensure you understand the Disclaimer here before booking any sessions with me.
Namaste & best wishes
Tom
🙏🙏🙏
Also see my various other articles on mental health and spirituality here
New Testimonial – Achlys
Having discovered Bhagavān Sri Ramana and his teachings online, I quickly consumed as much information about his teachings as possible. I found Tom, his YouTube and his website a few months later, and was awed (and continue to be to this day) by the breadth and accessibility of the material. I came in with fixed ideas about how a “liberated sage” or “spiritual teacher” should behave, speak or look like, ideas that have no basis in reality, as an aura of peace and stillness is a better identifier of a genuine teacher than any behaviour – an aura which I feel is palpable when coming in touch with Tom and his sharing. However, Tom charging money for satsangs and 1:1 meetings initially did make me somewhat suspicious of him.
Despite this, Tom makes a concerted effort to accommodate low or no-income seekers by publishing all his writings for free, have download links to books on the recommended reading list and refusing to price anyone out of attending satsang, all you have to do is email him to let him know. With the recent addition of the 1:1 fund, where satsang attendees are free to, if they so choose, generously contribute in order to allow those without the means to pay access to the meetings, I’ve had the privilege to take advantage of this scheme, by which I am humbled, and for which I am grateful.
Tom as a teacher and person in general is very kind, warm, and easy to chat to, our session at times felt more like hanging out with a close friend rather than some sort of super serious spiritual talk. His unique blend of affirming where you stand and making you feel secure while still challenging your mind’s patterns and beliefs and encouraging you to re-frame and re-examine ideas and behaviours you struggle with make him an excellent fit for seekers who struggle with anxiety, depression or low self-esteem.
While often these non-dual teachings can feel like having the rug pulled out from under your feet out of nowhere, in my experience, Tom’s gentle approach can leave you feeling (in the short term) like not a lot has actually happened or changed, but over time, you notice the subtle differences in the way you think, practice and interact with the teachings and life at large. This extremely fundamentally sound approach focuses not on the “bells and whistles” one may associate with spirituality, but rather on genuinely bringing the seeker towards peace and contentment in their daily life.
After attending satsang regularly for around 13 months now, I can tell it’s making a huge difference in terms of reducing negativity and suffering I was experiencing. The ease and convenience of accessing Tom’s presence 2x weekly is just the cherry on top. If any of this sounds remotely interesting to you, I highly recommend you check it out – we’re very privileged to have such a profound source of spiritual support a few clicks away. Between the YouTube channel, blog posts, recommended reading texts, zoom satsangs and 1:1 meetings, it’s very simple to slowly empty your mind of the harmful and extraneous and fill it with stillness and intense desire for liberation, regardless of your life situation.
Achlys, Poland
See here for more testimonials.
New testimonial – Neha
I started with Tom’s Satsang after coming across his website during an online search. At the time, I had no clue that I would be attending his Satsang regularly. I previously read a few books about Sri Ramana Maharshi but I think I was seeking a deeper understanding of the teachings.
Tom’s Satsang introduced me to Silence and connection to our inner peace. I will say it’s the most wonderful teaching I have ever received. We often find answers to our questions just by being present in the Satsang. I have read this before I am Self. But earlier it was just a statement. I have now started to feel more confident and have faith in myself.
The way he explains is simple and clear. His blogs are condensed and wonderful. I have always found a blog that deepens my understanding. In our one-to-one meetings, I have evolved and he has been very kind and patient to help me come to my conclusions. I am slowly finding answers to all my questions and it feels all correct. Thank you. Tom, I am always grateful for your insights, clarifications and our discussions.
Neha, USA
See here for more testimonials
New Testimonial – Markus
Here is a ‘new’ testimonial – it was written some months ago but I am only just uploading it to tomdas.com, please take a look – more testimonials can be found using the menu above:
Love of Bhagavan can be felt in Tom’s presence. That presence pierces through all the layers of the mind, straight to the heart. The silence in satsangs is reforming us, making our egos an offering for the Self to absorb. The first great event in this life was to come to know that Bhagavan Ramana loves me and wants to consume my ego. The second great event was to come to a satsang held by Tom and to start attending regularly.
Tom’s website and YouTube channel are a treasure trove that provides everything needed, whether one is new to spiritual life or already a seasoned seeker. Satsang gifts us a spiritual home, a place to share and heal, and to realize the immaculate truth that Is. The meetings are the highlights of my week. Through the powerful presence, we are maturing; suffering and worldliness fall away, and the essential practice is eventually established: to let go of body–mind–world and to dive within, to be with our Self.
Eternal gratitude to Tom, through whom we can intuit the loving presence of Bhagavan. I can wholeheartedly recommend the satsangs for anyone who longs for happiness and peace.
Markus, Finland
The ACTUAL meaning of Real & Unreal in Advaita Vedanta | The World & Liberation | Sri Ramana Paravidyopanishad | Sri Ramana Maharshi
TODAY Tom Das speaking at Awake in Stillness Conference 4.30pm UK time
I’ll be speaking at the Awake in Stillness Conference today (9th November 2024) at 4.30pm UK time.
It’s FREE to register and FREE to watch live using this affiliate link (if you buy a paid ticket to re-watch the event at a later time then I will receive some commission):
https://awake-in-stillness.purepresenceconferences.com/?sc=mYIBqNek&ac=eTD6a6Dq
Please also click on this link above to show your support from my being at the conference 🙏
Tom Das speaking at Awake In Stillness Conference 9th November 2024
I’ll be speaking at the Awake in Stillness Conference on 9th November 2024. It’s FREE to register and watch live using this affiliate link, and if you buy a paid ticket to re-watch the event then I will receive some commission.
Please show your support by clicking on the above link – many thanks
Guided meditation: Rest and be happy (let us just BE together)
Look – there’s no one here! (And other false teachings) The essentials of Self-Enquiry | Genuine non-dual realisation | Non-duality
This post was originally posted on Facebook here.
‘Looking at your own direct immediate experience and not being able to find a separate self – this exercise or practice or so-called ‘investigation’ has nothing to do with genuine self-inquiry.‘
Looking at your own direct immediate experience and not being able to find a separate self – this exercise or practice or so-called ‘investigation’ has nothing to do with genuine self-inquiry.
Many times I have seen how this teaching leads to confusion and dullness of mind, and actually ensnares you in a belief system called ‘non-duality’ or ‘there is no self’ or ‘there is no person, there is no one here’. These stock phrases are said by a body-mind entity and can create a belief system in the mind that leads you away from the genuine non-dual realisation.
AN EXPLANATION
It is just like saying ‘can you in your direct and immediate experience find air?’, and when you (in this example) cannot find air or see it or touch it or feel it, then you can triumphantly exclaim ‘there is no air!’.
If this was believed, then this would mean you have now entered into a conceptual belief system, and one that is not in line with reality, and therefore needs constant reinforcement and leads to confusion about how to live and act in the world.
Or it is like saying can you find loyalty in your direct experience? No? That means there is no such thing as loyalty! Or can you find a proton or electron in your own direct experience? No? This means you have now discovered there are no protons or electrons! Of course, this kind of exploration and investigation is superficial, non-scientific, irrational and ultimately absurd.
Like loyalty, a separate self cannot always be found in one’s own direct experience, but it emerges in relationship, in daily life and through actions. Merely saying ‘I cannot find my/a separate self’ and repeatedly coming back to this practice/inquiry, will not lead to genuine liberation at all. Whilst it does involve observation and seeing, it is a mental practice as its conclusion is in the mind; ironically it is egoic, as it is for the mind.
SEPARATE SELF KEEPS ON COMING BACK! (WITH THE FLAWED TEACHINGS)
Because the sense of separate self emerges during relationship and actions, it keeps on popping up again, leading the seeker to frustration – why at one point could they (allegedly*) see there was no self, but at another point self keeps on coming back to them again, causing them suffering?
(*If no ego-self was truly ‘seen’, it never comes back again. If ego comes back again, that means it never really went away, and that it was the ego claiming there was no ego all along)
OTHER SIMILARLY FLAWED TEACHINGS
This flawed teaching is similar to other forms of so-called ‘enquiry’ that conclude ‘all is consciousness’ after simply noticing that all they can be conscious of is consciousness, or all objects (that you are conscious of) appear within consciousness. This cannot be a proof that all there is is consciousness – it is merely proof that all you are aware of is within your own awareness, or all that you are conscious of is within your own consciousness, which is self-evident but which tells us nothing about reality per se. Again, this is superficial, irrational and flawed logic.
All is consciousness, but this is only known through a genuine self-enquiry.
More than this, this kind of so-called ‘enquiry’ will also take you away from a genuinely liberating teaching that leads one to genuine discovery of the actual non-dual truth (that is far deeper and also far simpler, more natural and more intuitive than these kinds of superficial, and ultimately conceptual/intellectual, teachings).
SRI RAMANA MAHARSHI SETS US ON THE CLEAR PATH
This is why genuine teachers such as Sri Ramana never gave these kinds of teachings at all. Instead, he always advised we turn our attention inwards, away from phenomenal and objective appearances, towards the sense of self or ‘I am’, the subject, and thereby discover the non-dual truth that we actually, already always are.
See in the text he wrote called ‘The essence of instruction‘ (Upadesa Saram), in verse 16 he writes:
’16. It is true wisdom for the mind to turn away from outer objects and behold its own effulgent form.’
See how he makes the teaching simple and clear!
WHAT ABOUT VERSE 17?
Now in verse 17, the next verse, there is a teaching which is often misunderstood. People do not usually realise that he explains what the actual meaning of verse 17 is in verse 18 and 19. He writes in verse 17:
’17. When unceasingly the mind scans its own form there is nothing of the kind. For everyone this path direct is open’
Whilst this verse seems to be an endorsement of the very teaching I’m saying here is not a genuine teaching, we can see in the next two verses he explains what verse 17 really means. In the next two verses, in verses 18 and 19, Ramana Maharshi explains the meaning of verse 17, namely that one must find the source of the ego and not simply say ‘I cannot find any separate self here’.
What is the source of the ego? It is the self, the subject, as he is already explained in verse 16 and in other verses in the same text.
(For brevity I will not quote all the verses here in this post, as you can easily look at them up yourselves here. The entire text of Upadesa Saram is only 30 verses long.)
THE TRUE TEACHING
The teaching is always to turn within, to turn away from objects, and sink and merge the mind into the Self, the pure subject, thereby attain liberation/self-knowledge. The point of a question such as the question ‘who am I?’, is only to drive one’s attention inwards towards the subject, as he is explained in his writings and verbal teachings.
Sri Ramana Maharshi assures us that this is the essential teaching when he says in The Garland of Guru’s Sayings (Guru Vachaka Kovai) verse 291:
- For those who seek eternal life the assurance stands: the senses five retracted tortoise-like, the mind turned homeward to the self and there abiding is pure bliss.
He also chides those who teach these intellectual teachings, who have never turned within and discovered their true nature:
- The innocent girl-bride thinking that betrothal is full conjugal union is filled with joy. Even so the learned who have yet to turn within and taste true bliss claim that the verbal wisdom which they prattle is Advaita Jnana (non-dual knowledge)
For an easy to read but comprehensive overview of the true teaching I recommend this book which you can download for free here, or alternatively check out my recommended reading list and/or introductory articles on the homepage of the same website:
Here are some more quotes from Sri Ramana Maharshi, also taken from Guru Vachaka Kovai (click here to download the entire text for free):
391. Those who do not dive into the Heart
And there confront the Self in the five sheaths hid
Are only students answering out of books
Clever questions raised by books,
And not true seekers of the Self.
835. Renouncing this phenomenal world
Which seems to, but does not, exist
We gain (the great ones say) the Self,
The Awareness shining all unseen.
See here for more verses like the ones above together with a guided meditation.
May we listen to Bhagavan’s teachings and thereby become one with him, discovering our own self, our own glorious true nature, which is found within, shining in the heart as I Am, I Am.
🙏🙏🙏
♥️ Om Namo Bhagavate Sri Arunachala Ramanaya Om ♥️
🙏🙏🙏
Tom Das 