Mental Health and Non-Duality: Depression, anxiety, trauma, addiction, low self-esteem (and how I may be able to help)

Also see my various other articles on mental health and spirituality here

WHICH OF THESE THREE GROUPS (SEE BELOW) DO YOU FALL INTO?

Some people come to this teaching quite depressed, with low self-esteem, and other psychological issues such as anxiety, varying levels of addiction, or just being in a psychological rut that they cannot seem to get out of. They look to spiritual teachings as a solution, and they look to self enquiry as a way out.

The truth is that ultimately the solution IS spiritual and self enquiry IS the way out. Without genuine self-realization suffering will inevitably continue on some level.

For some, all they need is self enquiry. This will cure them totally and fully. In truth this is all any of us really need.

However there are many seekers I come across who have psychological issues or life issues (issues with relationships, money, work, family) which (in their mind and in their experience) prevent them from deeply engaging with self-enquiry. These psychological issues and habitual tendencies prevent their self enquiry and spiritual practice from going deeper.

Sometimes this manifests simply as not having much desire to actually do or engage with self-inquiry despite having a relatively good understanding of the teachings.

For many years now I have been working 1 to 1 with apparent people to unblock these psychological issues and other life issues such as relationship issues, money issues and self-esteem/confidence issues. I am happy to say that my success rate is very high 😊 and I have guided many people to heal their deepest psychological wounds. Often this happens relatively quickly, just in a few sessions, but sometimes it can take much longer. It depends on the person, their openness to truth, their willingness to look at themselves and question their own beliefs, as well as our connection and their resonance with what/how I share.

I should say at this point that if you have deep psychopathology, such as psychosis or severe PTSD type symptoms or recurrent suicidal thoughts, then it is best to see a therapist who specialises in these areas and not me. Whilst I do have many years of experience treating people who have serious mental health issues, I’m not a qualified psychotherapist.

However if you have milder psychological issues that are getting you down, or if you feel you are in a rut, if you are having relationship patterns or other habitual tendencies that repeat themselves, if you have issues with your self-esteem and daily levels of happiness, then these are issues I can probably help you quite a lot with, especially if you have tried other things which have not worked.

(These are often the people that come to me! People have tried everything else that hasn’t quite yet worked!)

And often one-to-one sessions with me have resulted in a great opening, a great opening to happiness and love and connection, which is what the teaching is actually about.

I have found that the way I work with people varies quite a lot, it can vary a huge amount actually, as the way I respond depends on the person I am speaking with and the issues they are confronted with. I like to think that I meet people where they are and so each person hopefully receives the teaching that they need from me.

I would like to make a point here that this teaching is not about breaking you down, deconstructing and destroying you. That is the intellectual approach. Quite the contrary, this teaching is about building you up, connecting with what you actually are, which is something wonderful…and then going beyond that too, beyond any notions of a person who can connect with something greater than themselves. This is discovering the actual truth of what you are, which is total consciousness, total compassion, total love, total bliss, the end of suffering, Divine Oneness… And it is just simple Being devoid of any duality or illusion.

So perhaps you fall into one of these three groups:

1) If your self enquiry and spiritual practise is going well, then you probably don’t need me at all.

2) If your self enquiry is ok but could be better, or your motivation is lacking or your understanding is not quite there, then I would recommend you come to satsang meetings with me. These meetings provide a very powerful energy and environment in which not only are you energetically drawn much deeper (at least this is the feedback I get from people who attend satsang with me), but doubts and questions can also be resolved on the verbal and conceptual level too. Some people only need to attend a few meetings to have their doubts resolved, but others will need to attend many meetings regularly in order for the teachings to go in more fully and deeply and have the desired effect. There is a charge to attend these sessions, but if you cannot afford this charge, you can pay a lower amount or come for free if you message me first. In this way nobody is excluded from the teaching.

3) if you have psychological or relationship or life issues that are keeping you unhappy and distracting you/preventing you going deeply into your self enquiry, then consider booking a one-to-one session with me. There is a one-to-one fund available to partly or wholly cover the cost of this for people who are genuinely engaged with this apparent path but who cannot afford to pay for a one-to-one session with me – see my website tomdas.com for details. This fund is largely supported by donations from people who themselves have greatly benefited from 1 to 1 sessions with me and would like to see other people also benefit.

I write this in the hope that this information is helpful to you and benefits you on your journey.

If anybody reading this has had a good experience of one-to-one sessions with me, or of attending satsang meetings, or can otherwise vouch for what I’ve said above, please consider sharing this in the comments

Please also read and ensure you understand the Disclaimer here before booking any sessions with me.

Namaste & best wishes

Tom

🙏🙏🙏

Also see my various other articles on mental health and spirituality here

Why do I feel anxiety when practising mindfulness? Why don’t I enjoy meditating? The 3 Gunas explained

Many people find meditation and mindfulness difficult and sometimes it can even make them feel more anxious? Why is this? Tom explains why this can occur, using the teaching of the three gunas (Tamas, Rajas and Sattva).

With devotion to Sri Ramana Maharshi

For more on this teaching see here: https://tomdas.com/2019/02/18/the-three-energies-three-gunas/

This video was recorded live during a Satsang meeting with Tom Das and put together by volunteers.

To attend satsang, see here: https://tomdas.com/events.

For guided meditations see the ‘guided meditation’ playlist here: https://www.youtube.com/c/TomDasNonduality/playlist

For recommended reading for liberation see here: https://tomdas.com/2020/10/19/recommended-reading-books-for-enlightenment-liberation-and-self-realisation/

To book a 1 to 1 session with Tom see here: https://tomdas.com/nondual-spiritual-counsellor/

😡🤬 WHEN EMOTIONALLY TRIGGERED 😳😤

1. It’s best not to believe your thoughts when you are feeling sad/angry/emotional and also best not to talk or act or make decisions from this place.

2. Instead, find yourself a safe space where you can safely allow yourself to open up to the emotion.

3. Allow yourself to feel, fully feel, and allow emotion to flow through you. You may initially feel more angry, more sad, you may cry or scream, your body may contort or writhe, you may act out like a child, but this will pass.

4. Know that you are not the limited body-mind. You are transparent ever-present consciousness which nothing can touch or harm.

5. Give your emotions and feelings a voice. Allow them to speak, don’t hold back and feel free to use expletives… eg. ‘He/she/I/the system is such a fucking idiot…why does he/she/I have to act like such a fucking idiot?….why can’t he/she be more like x/y/z?…I am so pissed off…I am so fucking angry…I fucking hate you….I am feeling really hurt…I don’t want to be hurt….I feel so small…you make me feel so small…you are such a fucking idiot….there is so much pain…why is there so much pain?…I just want to be loved….why me?…why is my life like this?…I wish it wasn’t this way…this is too difficult…it shouldn’t be like this…it shouldn’t be so difficult….I don’t want to be here any more…I can’t do this any more….I just want peace….I do want to be here but I want the pain to stop…I want the pain to stop….I just want to be loved….woe is me…..I feel so hurt…I just feel so hurt….I… just… feel… so… so… hurt…’ etc, etc.

6. Don’t act on any of these thoughts, don’t take them seriously, allow them to be expressed and FELT and allow them to pass.

If at any time you feel unsafe or you feel you are compelled to act on your thoughts/feelings, then stop the process – see the warning/disclaimer below.

Eventually all of this passes and Peace is revealed. In this way emotions are healed, they are released and set free.

The more you have suppressed or avoided your feelings (as most of us have, unconsciously for the most part), the longer this will take, the harder it will be, and the more this process will need to be repeated.

The more loving and safer the environment is in which the above process the occurs, the safer you feel, the deeper and more effective the process will be.

Throughout the above, know that you are not the limited body-mind. You are transparent ever-present consciousness which nothing can touch or harm. Your nature is Peace. No emotions or feelings can harm you. You are one with all, everything is really just this Peace that you are.

When the emotion clears, our thoughts and judgement are often very different…so when your emotions are triggered, remember, don’t act or make decisions from this place.

Stop, relax, allow yourself to feel, fully feel, know no emotions/feeling can harm you and allow them to flow straight through you like coloured light through a transparent piece of glass. Imagine yourself to be transparent if that helps. The multi-coloured emotional light will eventually clear so only bright white light remains, and your Innate Natural Brilliance is re-revealed.

In reality there is only ever this Brilliant White Light, which is What You Are and always have been.

Ps. you may have noticed that the example thoughts I gave actually form a progression from blame to anger/resentment to hurt then to self-pity and despair and then back again to hurt…again and again we come to be in touch with the underlying hurt or pain that we have sought to avoid, and it is here that the healing really takes place 

Warning and disclaimer: This post does not constitute or replace medical advice and does not replace the need for professional therapy and treatment. If you have had deep emotional trauma or if you have certain mental health issues, the feelings and sensations that may come up may be too overwhelming for you to do this above process alone, at least initially, and this process could even be harmful for you by unlocking deep emotions and sensations that you are unable to deal with by yourself. In this instance my advice is to seek professional help as there are many ways of safely being guided to heal trauma and resolve mental health issues. If you do not feel comfortable with the above process, again, seek professional guidance. It is important that you feel confident and safe throughout the above process as your safety is paramount. 🙏