health

Mental Health and Non-Duality: Depression, anxiety, trauma, addiction, low self-esteem (and how I may be able to help)

~ Tom Das ~ 1 Comment

Also see my various other articles on mental health and spirituality here

WHICH OF THESE THREE GROUPS (SEE BELOW) DO YOU FALL INTO?

Some people come to this teaching quite depressed, with low self-esteem, and other psychological issues such as anxiety, varying levels of addiction, or just being in a psychological rut that they cannot seem to get out of. They look to spiritual teachings as a solution, and they look to self enquiry as a way out.

The truth is that ultimately the solution IS spiritual and self enquiry IS the way out. Without genuine self-realization suffering will inevitably continue on some level.

For some, all they need is self enquiry. This will cure them totally and fully. In truth this is all any of us really need.

However there are many seekers I come across who have psychological issues or life issues (issues with relationships, money, work, family) which (in their mind and in their experience) prevent them from deeply engaging with self-enquiry. These psychological issues and habitual tendencies prevent their self enquiry and spiritual practice from going deeper.

Sometimes this manifests simply as not having much desire to actually do or engage with self-inquiry despite having a relatively good understanding of the teachings.

For many years now I have been working 1 to 1 with apparent people to unblock these psychological issues and other life issues such as relationship issues, money issues and self-esteem/confidence issues. I am happy to say that my success rate is very high 😊 and I have guided many people to heal their deepest psychological wounds. Often this happens relatively quickly, just in a few sessions, but sometimes it can take much longer. It depends on the person, their openness to truth, their willingness to look at themselves and question their own beliefs, as well as our connection and their resonance with what/how I share.

I should say at this point that if you have deep psychopathology, such as psychosis or severe PTSD type symptoms or recurrent suicidal thoughts, then it is best to see a therapist who specialises in these areas and not me. Whilst I do have many years of experience treating people who have serious mental health issues, I’m not a qualified psychotherapist.

However if you have milder psychological issues that are getting you down, or if you feel you are in a rut, if you are having relationship patterns or other habitual tendencies that repeat themselves, if you have issues with your self-esteem and daily levels of happiness, then these are issues I can probably help you quite a lot with, especially if you have tried other things which have not worked.

(These are often the people that come to me! People have tried everything else that hasn’t quite yet worked!)

And often one-to-one sessions with me have resulted in a great opening, a great opening to happiness and love and connection, which is what the teaching is actually about.

I have found that the way I work with people varies quite a lot, it can vary a huge amount actually, as the way I respond depends on the person I am speaking with and the issues they are confronted with. I like to think that I meet people where they are and so each person hopefully receives the teaching that they need from me.

I would like to make a point here that this teaching is not about breaking you down, deconstructing and destroying you. That is the intellectual approach. Quite the contrary, this teaching is about building you up, connecting with what you actually are, which is something wonderful…and then going beyond that too, beyond any notions of a person who can connect with something greater than themselves. This is discovering the actual truth of what you are, which is total consciousness, total compassion, total love, total bliss, the end of suffering, Divine Oneness… And it is just simple Being devoid of any duality or illusion.

So perhaps you fall into one of these three groups:

1) If your self enquiry and spiritual practise is going well, then you probably don’t need me at all.

2) If your self enquiry is ok but could be better, or your motivation is lacking or your understanding is not quite there, then I would recommend you come to satsang meetings with me. These meetings provide a very powerful energy and environment in which not only are you energetically drawn much deeper (at least this is the feedback I get from people who attend satsang with me), but doubts and questions can also be resolved on the verbal and conceptual level too. Some people only need to attend a few meetings to have their doubts resolved, but others will need to attend many meetings regularly in order for the teachings to go in more fully and deeply and have the desired effect. There is a charge to attend these sessions, but if you cannot afford this charge, you can pay a lower amount or come for free if you message me first. In this way nobody is excluded from the teaching.

3) if you have psychological or relationship or life issues that are keeping you unhappy and distracting you/preventing you going deeply into your self enquiry, then consider booking a one-to-one session with me. There is a one-to-one fund available to partly or wholly cover the cost of this for people who are genuinely engaged with this apparent path but who cannot afford to pay for a one-to-one session with me – see my website tomdas.com for details. This fund is largely supported by donations from people who themselves have greatly benefited from 1 to 1 sessions with me and would like to see other people also benefit.

I write this in the hope that this information is helpful to you and benefits you on your journey.

If anybody reading this has had a good experience of one-to-one sessions with me, or of attending satsang meetings, or can otherwise vouch for what I’ve said above, please consider sharing this in the comments

Please also read and ensure you understand the Disclaimer here before booking any sessions with me.

Namaste & best wishes

Tom

🙏🙏🙏

Also see my various other articles on mental health and spirituality here

Is it possible to free the mind from all fear and conditioning?

~ Tom Das ~ Leave a comment

Question: The human mind has been conditioned and brainwashed for thousands of years. Is it possible to free the mind of all psychological fear, and what is the brain’s primary function besides keeping the body alive?

Tom: We could say that there is always an aspect of the mind/ consciousness/ awareness/ ourselves that is untouched by conditioning. This awareness can at times see this conditioning you speak of in action, and then immediately it is already beyond it, and action from ‘this place’ is no longer egoically conditioned, although other types of conditioning such as biological conditioning and language skills remain.

This awareness-wisdom can grow and eventually efface the egoic conditioning completely, which is when we enter into the depths of Silence that is Timeless and Non-dual.

Even though all of this is already ‘That’, it is not fully ‘realised’ and suffering continues until the egoic conditioning is no longer active.

Washing machines and Non-Duality

~ Tom Das ~ 2 Comments

If your washing machine is broken, you can get it repaired. If your cut yourself, you can apply a plaster. If you have mental health issues, you can see a mental health professional.

This is all well and good, but has nothing to do with liberation.

Liberation already is. It is much simpler than getting your washing machine repaired or mending your body or mind! Nothing is required. Which doesn’t mean that you can’t fix your washing machine or see a mental health professional.

Just this, simply this, as it already is.

(Additional comments from Tom: We can see in the above examples that the washing machine example is to do with an object in the world, a cut is to do with the body, and mental health is to do with the mind. Liberation IS. It is not dependent on various practices to do with body/mind/world. Know Thyself!)

Gently ushered home

~ Tom Das ~ Leave a comment

Maple leaf on stones

When the body is loose and relaxed,
When it is fed nutritiously,
When movement is fluid, safe and dynamic,
Physical wellbeing tends to manifest.

When the mind is relaxed and alert,
Not fighting this way and that,
Not straining and thirsting after temporary sense pleasures,
Not indulging in stories of self,
Not judging others as being better or worse,
Seeing things factually as they are,
Happiness manifests.

When happiness and wellbeing manifest,
We become receptive to that-which-is,
We become sensitive to life and its play,
And intelligence is enhanced.

And so life shifts,
From side to side,
Bobbing us up and down,

Mysteriously,
Intelligently,
Lovingly,
Nurturing us in the ways we need,
(not necessarily in the ways we want),

And life,
In its every action and happening,
Is gently ushering us home.
(Where else were we?)

 

Transforming pleasure into joy

~ Tom Das ~ Leave a comment

Please click here to read my second article for naturalhealthstar.com. It’s called ‘Transforming pleasure into joy’.

[Update – the above link no longer works so I have posted the article below in full; the first article called ‘The Two types of Happiness’ can be read here.]

In a previous article I wrote about joy as opposed to pleasure. Joy, as I defined it, is a natural feeling of warmth and connectedness we feel when we are with someone we love, when we are doing something we love, or when we are with nature. Pleasure on the other hand, I defined as being to do with acquisition, such as acquiring possessions, or even more subtle ‘objects’ such as acquiring pride, power, sex, certain experiences or respect.

With joy, our sense of self or ego is dimished and so we feel whole. The barrier and resistance of the ego is lessened allowing joy to emerge. With pleasure our sense of self is reinforced and strengthened, and whilst this feels initially positive, it is actually trying to cover up a deeper sense of lack or emptiness and it ultimately destructive and self-isolating. Pleasure becomes addictive whilst joy is deeply soothing.

It’s worth pointing out that in different situations joy goes by different names. When we feel joy whilst looking at a piece of art or listening to music we call it Beauty. When we are with someone we call it Love. When it is through our work we call it Service or Vocation. It is all Joy. It is all Love. These all happen when the sense of self is no longer at play.

So if you want to explore this further I suggest the first thing to do is to simply notice this. Not change it, but just gently notice it. Notice what pleasure feels like, notice how it comes about, notice your thoughts, notice how your body feels, notice the circumstances that gave rise to it, notice how you feel afterwards – you get the idea. The same with joy. Don’t accept my descriptions, but discover for yourself what these two types of experience are like.

The tendency when hearing a teaching like this is to shun pleasure and try to do more joyous things. Whilst this is on the one hand commendable, I would also advise caution. The very desire to maximise joy is actually the same drive for pleasure only in a different guise. Now joy has become an object to be acquired, and this acquisitive desire is the characteristic of pleasure. If you have spent time exploring what joy and pleasure actually feel like in your body you will get an immediate sense of this. So in trying to seek joy, the naturalness of joy is transformed into seeking pleasure. Notice how subtle this is.

On the other hand, if you don’t try to seek or repress pleasure, and instead just look at it, just being with the feeling is actually a form of love, self-love. We can love ourselves, embrace ourselves and not judge or chastise ourselves for seeking pleasure. We can embrace and be with our pleasure seeking. We can accept ourselves for who we are right now, just as we may accept a child or pet animal who is playing up. We are no longer trying to acquire something, we are no longer trying to be joyous. We are also no longer judging ourselves as being good or bad. Instead we are loving ourselves as we are, we are being tender with ourselves and our emotions, and in doing so we transform pleasure into Joy.

Experiment with this if you want, and let me know how it goes.

Love and blessings to you

Two types of Happiness: Joy and Pleasure

~ Tom Das ~ 3 Comments

I was invited to contribute a few articles for naturalhealthstar.com. The first one was published today and is on the two types of happiness, which I have called Joy and pleasure.

If you are interested please click here to read more.

[Update: the above link no longer works so I have reproduced the article below:]

Imagine strolling barefoot along a sandy tropical beach watching the sunset. Can you imagine what it feels like? Now imagine winning the lottery, and what that feels like. These two scenarios, whilst both pleasant, feel different don’t they? Take a few moments to feel both these imaginary scenarios in turn and get a sense for how they each feel.

For me with the sunset the feeling is more peaceful, connected, warm and gentle. With the lottery there is more excitement at the sense of gain. If you explore your feelings and sensations further, you can see that with the sunset the sense of self is diminished, perhaps even absent, and in its place is a sense of wholeness or connectedness. With the lottery the sense of self is reinforced and strengthened.

Here’s another example: imagine how it feels to interact with a young child, perhaps one you know, laughing and playing with them. Now contrast this with a situation when someone respected you or admired you and how that felt. You could take it one step further perhaps and remember how it felt when you were in a position of power over someone, when you were in control. Again, whilst these feelings are probably all positive feelings, interacting with a child is gentler and there is more of a sense of connection. When you are being respected or dominating someone there is a sense of self-aggrandisement.

So why am I pointing out this distinction? Because genuine fulfillment always comes when the sense of self lessens. I call this Joy. When this happens we feel more at ease, more connected, gentler and more loving. It is how we feel when we are with our loved ones, when we are following our hearts desire and when we are with nature. It is  a completely natural unlearnt emotion. We feel it more with the heart and abdomen – this may sound strange, but look for yourself where you feel the emotion in your body.

The positive feelings that come from self-reinforcement on the other hand are relatively short lived and actually fuel a sense of emptiness or lack that keeps us unfulfilled. I call this pleasure. We feel it more in the mind. It is ego-based, driven by a sense of lack, and something that has to be taught to us. We have to be conditioned through our society and upbringing to value social status, good grades, cheap-thrills and domination over others.

So, reflect on your life. How much time is spent chasing pleasures and thrills, and how much time is spent experiencing Joy? Pleasure comes though acquisition. Acquiring things, titles, sensations and experiences. It is essentially addictive in nature and leads to more suffering. Joy comes through letting go, through being with something, through playing, and through giving and service. It is a natural expression of who we really are deep down.

What are the health benefits of yoga really?

~ Tom Das ~ Leave a comment

stretching-498256_1280

As someone who has practiced yoga since being a young child, I would highly recommend it. There are so many benefits – even a relatively superficial physical practice can be transformative.

However I do get tired of reading about the endless benefits of yoga as a cure-all for everything from cancer to haemorrhoids.

Continue reading →