The happier and more secure in ourselves we are, the more we are able to love others and receive love ourselves, the more able we are to deeply listen to others and be deeply present with others.
As we go towards the Absolute, the Subject, the Self, the Pure Consciousness that we ARE, the happier and more secure we become in ourselves, and the more loving and balanced we naturally are.
There are some who say no need to go towards the Absolute, or rather this is not so important, but instead loving each other is more important, being able to deeply listen to each other is more important, being able to deeply be present with someone is more important…
…not realising that the two are related, and that without going more and more towards the Absolute, either consciously or unconsciously, without more and more realising ourselves as THAT, we will be limited in our ability to give and receive love, we will be limited in our ability to deeply listen, to deeply receive, and to deeply be present with others.
When we ultimately discover ourselves as That Absolute, then all that is left is Love and Presence, giving and receiving become One, outside and inside disappear, and the thought of another as opposed to I or me also vanishes. There is only Eternal Love and Bliss.
Hence the most important thing, from a spiritual point of view, especially if you value kindness and love and deep listening and being present, is to go towards the Absolute and discover that Truth that we ARE.
When Jesus was asked what the most important commandment was, he said the most important was to love the lord our God with everything we have, (which I like to interpret as meaning to go towards the absolute and know your identity with that), and he said that the second most important commandment was to love each other. He did not say the most important commandment was to love each other, as I suspect he knew that we cannot love each other truly and fully unless we know our own Divine Nature as Absolute Love
Put simply, we are often told to love each other and be present with each other and be good to on another, but we are not told HOW we can love each other more or HOW we can be more present with each other.
The secret is to more and more know yourself as you truly are, ie. as Pure Formless Consciousness, as the Absolute.
Tom Das 
Tom, what I appreciate about your posting today on love is that if we proceed from the Absolute first, then this realization opens up our love to people who we may not have shown love to based solely on our minds and personality preferences alone.
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Thank you for this posting. Many teachings draw people in by talking about the possibilty of ‘being love,’ in other words appealing to an absence of conflict, of being only nice and kind to each other. Sounds wonderful. But it is impossible to be so by the willful ego alone. Suffering is still there. The mind with its judgements of right and wrong is still there. Transcendance, or -in RamanaMaharshi’s words- total destruction of the mind, is the only path that leads to letting go of judgement, allowing love to enter.
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