Love

J. Krishnamurti: How to truly listen

~ Tom Das ~ Leave a comment
krishnamurti

‘I hope that you will listen, but not with the memory of what you already know; and this is very difficult to do. You listen to something, and your mind immediately reacts with its knowledge, its conclusions, its opinions, its past memories. It listens, inquiring for a future understanding.

Just observe yourself, how you are listening, and you will see that this is what is taking place. Either you are listening with a conclusion, with knowledge, with certain memories, experiences, or you want an answer, and you are impatient. You want to know what it is all about, what life is all about, the extraordinary complexity of life. You are not actually listening at all.

…you are listening with a conclusion, with knowledge…you want an answer, and you are impatient…You are not actually listening at all.

You can only listen when the mind is quiet, when the mind doesn’t react immediately, when there is an interval between your reaction and what is being said. Then, in that interval there is a quietness, there is a silence in which alone there is a comprehension which is not intellectual understanding.

You can only listen when the mind is quiet, when the mind doesn’t react immediately, when there is an interval between your reaction and what is being said.

If there is a gap between what is said and your own reaction to what is said, in that interval, whether you prolong it indefinitely, for a long period or for a few seconds – in that interval, if you observe, there comes clarity. It is the interval that is the new brain. The immediate reaction is the old brain, and the old brain functions in its own traditional, accepted, reactionary, animalistic sense.

When there is an abeyance of that, when the reaction is suspended, when there is an interval, then you will find that the new brain acts, and it is only the new brain that can understand, not the old brain’

Jiddu Krishnamurti, The Book of Life, October 21st

Zen Buddhist Master Yuanwu: Ordinary everyday enlightenment

~ Tom Das ~ Leave a comment

yuanwu letters

There are no mundane things outside Buddhism,

and there is no Buddhism outside mundane things

Yuanwu

Tom’s comments:

Before we are spiritual seekers, there is just ordinary life. Whilst we are seekers, we learn about and may experience wonderful supernatural things such as mystic visions, psychic phenomena, other-worldly states of consciousness and bliss. We may seek transcendence and escape from the things of everyday life. When the truth is seen, all we are left with is this, just this, completely ordinary, ‘mundane’.

Sure it’s wonderful too, but there’s no getting away from the ordinariness of it all: wherever we look, wherever we go, whatever we do, it is here/there, always. What is more ordinary than that!

The ordinariness of my ‘enlightenment experience’:

Poetry: A horde of egos

~ Tom Das ~ 3 Comments
Shoal Sardines.jpg
Shoal of Sardines, Photograph by Federico Cabello, National Geographic Your Shot

The mass of unenlightened spiritual seekers,
trying to figure it all out,
trying to see their True Natures,
like the proverbial fish looking for water,
or the lady looking everywhere for her necklace,
only to find it on her neck.

The trying-to-figure-it-all-out is the suffering.

A horde of egos,
trying to be happy,
struggling to attain Bliss and Peace,
like someone using a bloodied towel to wipe up blood,
like a person in quicksand sinking ever deeper with each attempt to be free.

The trying-to-be-happy is the suffering.

Why bother?
Why argue with what is?
What’s wrong with right here, right now?
(It is the mind that tells you otherwise)

Stop:
Water is here all you around you, dear fish!
My lady, you look stunning in your necklace!
The splattered blood is perfect, right where I wanted it to be!
When you stop moving, look, the quicksand disappears!

‘No, don’t stop’ says the mind ‘There’s more, just around the corner your prize awaits.’
‘Just go that one bit further and you’ll have it figured out.’
‘Peace and Bliss are yours. You are much more than just this.‘

The mind believes the mind,
thought believes its thinking.

The mind thinks it is the doer,
and so thinks it can do something about this.
But what can be done? And who/what can do it?

This cannot be figured out (by the ego/doer/mind).
How can the ego realise it does not exist?
What can you do to realise there is no doer?

There is nobody here!
So how can there be anything to do?

Look:
Actions happen by themselves,
according to the nature of things:
planets orbit the sun,
the wind blows,
rivers flow,
seeds sprout,
plants grow,
babies are born,
hearts beat,
lungs breathe,
minds think,
bodies act…

Nobody doing any of it,
all of it happening anyway,
all of it choicelessly accepted,
by the all-embracing awareness,
that is none other than our ordinary everyday experience:
spontaneously present,
spontaneously aware.

Did we ask to be aware?
Did we create awareness?
Did we create our experiences?
Or did our awareness spontaneously arise?
Or did experience and experiences spontaneously appear?

Seeing this,
it is seen.

Did you chose to be a seeker?
Did you chose to take yourself to be a doer?

See, you are not in control,
for there is no evidence of a controller.
Why believe in that for which there is no evidence?

Look:
There is no mass of unenlightened seekers at all,
The horde of egos is but an imagined illusion.

No unenlightened people,
no enlightened people,
Just what is.

All there is is life,
a uni-versal process,
a vast interconnected web,
spanning from celestial bodies to nervous systems,
one system operating…

Greetings!
Hello!

 

Who cares about Freedom/Enlightenment/Nirvana?

~ Tom Das ~ 4 Comments

flowers purple.jpg

Who cares about Freedom/Enlightenment/Nirvana?

Who is it that cares? What is it that cares? Why do you want it?

Notice that this very teaching is pointing out that the entity that wants these things is itself a fiction. It is the false ego that cares. And the false ego does not exist. (Note that I use the word ‘ego’ as a synonym for ‘the doer’)

What do you imagine Freedom/Enlightenment/Nirvana to be?

How do you imagine it will benefit you? Any benefit you imagine enlightenment will give you is only temporary at best. What comes can also go. Freedom means that you are free from the need for any improvements to what is.

Will enlightenment make you happy?

Happiness can come, and it will also eventually go. Happiness and all states of mind are necessarily transient. Enlightenment is already present, and is not dependent on happiness or on your state of mind. Enlightenment doesn’t need to be happy.

Maybe you think enlightenment will give you the unshakable knowledge that you are immortal?

The problem here is that all knowledge is uncertain and can be doubted. Yes, all knowledge. If you think that you are Pure Consciousness, if you think it’s all about no-mind or no-ego, if you think it’s all about Jesus or Krishna, all of these are within the field of knowledge.

You may have cleverly deduced and convinced yourself that you are immortal using some kind of conceptual construct loosely based on your experience, but the truth is that you don’t actually know.

So, what happens when you die?

How can you know what happens when you die? No matter how you justify it, no matter how many psychic intuitions or spiritual experiences you have, the truth is that you don’t know for sure what happens after death. This question may perhaps be answered by science in the future, but we are not there yet.

Think of a time when you were utterly convinced something was true, but now you look back and realise how wrong you were. Knowledge also comes and goes. Perspectives change as we grow and mature and experience different things.

Enlightenment is beyond knowledge. Enlightenment does not depend on knowledge or the mind. Unlike knowledge and states of mind, Enlightenment cannot be attained – it is already here.

OK, then what’s left?

If enlightenment is not about attaining a particular state of mind or gaining some kind of knowledge, then what’s left? What’s left is simply what’s happening. That’s all. Enlightenment/freedom/nirvana is not about attaining anything at all. All we ‘know’ is whatever is happening is whatever is happening. Or, to be more accurate, whatever we perceive (to be happening) is what we perceive.

Pointing out mistakes

We can go a little further too: we can also point out mistakes in our thinking. If we think Father Christmas is real, we can notice and point out there is no conclusive evidence to support that, despite appearances to the contrary (eg. presents appearing beneath the tree on Christmas Day). Any happiness or pleasure we derive from believing in Father Christmas is similarly based on our wrong notions/illusion.

Similarly, if someone takes themselves to be a doer, an entity that is free to choose and take credit and blame for its actions, then we can point out that there is no evidence to support this position, despite appearance to the contrary. All suffering that results from belief in doership is similarly based on illusion.

Be honest and humble

So, we can ‘know’ (ie. perceive) whatever’s happening right now, and we can know what we don’t know.

Basically, let’s be honest and humble and not pretend we know things that we don’t. Let’s not pretend we are this or that, let’s not strive towards spiritual ideals which are just mental projections  – it’s all fear based, ego-based.

No need to strive

Instead of striving towards projected notions of Enlightenment, why not look at where we are. Why not stay with what is?

The movement away from what is is based on aversion and fear. Can you see that? This movement away is the fear. This movement away is the suffering. It is all based on the notion ‘I am the doer’ or ‘I am the ego’.

When we stop striving, we become available to see things as they are, we become free to understand. When we see there is no ego/doer, there is no striving/desire. Even if there is desire, there is no identification with it, so there is no suffering.

Natural relaxation, emotions and intelligence

When we see that there is nothing to attain, we naturally relax. It happens by itself. As we relax, positivity and well-being flow into our system. We are free to be ourselves, which means we are free to let whatever happens happen – we have no choice in this anyway as there is no doer!

Emotions come and go: they are free to be felt and experienced.

The body-mind starts to balance itself, regulate itself and develop its natural sensitivity and intelligence.

Insights and understanding pours through, illusion falls away as it is seen through. Love starts to blossom.

Or maybe it doesn’t. It’s for you to find out for yourself, in freedom, if what I am saying is true.

The ‘miracle’ of life

Relax, notice and discover.

What are we left with? Just what’s happening. So simple, and beyond words. Just life, living, simply, spontaneously. The fact that it or anything is here at all is the ‘miracle’.

Love, happiness and non-duality

~ Tom Das ~ 11 Comments

tulips red.jpg

When the ego is seen through, all there is is what is. This is actually love, this is the real love.

Q. What is the relationship between love and non-duality?

A. Non-duality, as you call it, when it is fully seen, has nothing to do with trying to become more loving. But when the intrinsic-Freedom-that-already-exists is recognised, there is a tendency to become more loving, more open. Not that that actually matters. Openness and love are just what tend to happen when the illusion of a separate doer-entity is seen to be illusory. They are side effects.

Q. If in seeing this Freedom one tends to become more loving, then why do you say non-duality has nothing to do with being more loving?

A. This is about what is true, not what you want to be true. You may want to be more loving, more ethical or more whatever, but so-called ‘non-duality’  is about seeing what already is, right now. It is the ego or person that wants to become more loving, more ethical, more radiant, more popular, and so on. So the desire to be more loving is actually a subtle form of ego. ‘Non-duality’, or whatever you want to call it, is not about a continuation of the ego, but seeing that this ego is a fiction, that the sense of doership is an imagined belief without any evidence to underpin it.

It is the ego or person that wants to become more loving, more ethical, more radiant, more popular, and so on.

Who cares about love? Who cares about being ethical? It’s the ego of course. The ego cares, the doer-entity cares and it is the ego that wants to improve itself and therefore perpetuate itself. Ask yourself, ‘what is this entity that cares about being loving, being ethical?’. If you really are interested and you look, then it can become obvious that there is no ego there, it was all just a belief all along, a false belief. The story of doership is false.

Then all there is is what’s happening. Nobody doing anything, just what’s happening. I call this Freedom, but it doesn’t really have a name. It is simply what’s happening. It is simply the way things actually are, not they way you want things to be based on your projection which is in turn based on beliefs and concepts. It is the simplicity of life stripped clean of false notions and narratives, in which false notions are seen through as they arise.

I call this Freedom, but it doesn’t really have a name. It is simply what’s happening.

In Freedom, you don’t care about love, or any other projected ideal. You don’t try to be more ethical. Maybe you are more loving, maybe you are not. That’s why this automatically tends towards love – because there is no motive, because the ego is not at play. It may go against intuition but love does not care about love. Love just is when things are seen for what they are. To put it more poetically, in seeing truth (of no-self), love is.

In seeing truth, love is

Q. What about happiness?

A. Again, who cares about happiness? It’s the ego! The ego cares, and the ego is a fiction. Relax your mind and look for the ego – where is it? It is just empty thoughts, there is no entity there! But you have to really want to know the truth to see this: by that I mean that you have to be willing to drop all your ideas and concepts about yourself and your life. Then you really have to actually look – at least most people do. Some people just see this spontaneously, but all you have to do is notice what is already true.

When this is seen, that there is no ‘self-entity’, the neurotic drive for happiness naturally dissipates, and then Joy naturally arises. Why? Because the (neurotic) drive for happiness is actually a form of suffering. When there is no concern for happiness, then Joy naturally tends to manifest. A feeling of wellbeing may not always be there, but who cares? That’s just the way things are. No feeling-state or mind-state is permanent. Everything changes. Nothing lasts forever. Who cares? That’s the freedom.

Investigate the present reality instead of chasing a future projection.

When you are trying to get somewhere, you are chasing a projected ideal, something conceptual, not something actual. Instead of chasing the conceptual, why not remain with the actual, with what is actually happening now? Investigate the present reality instead of chasing a future projection. When the ego is seen through, all there is is what is. This is actually love, this is the real love. The lack of a centre, the lack of a doer, that’s what love really is. It’s not an emotion at all. It’s not necessarily even feeling loving, although that may happen when it’s appropriate.

When the ego is seen through, all there is is what is. This is actually love, this is the real love.

Without the ego at play, all there is is natural functioning. Emotions then act accordingly when they are required. It’s not healthy to be happy all the time, nor is it likely to be physiologically possible. Our varied  emotions, fears and mental states are there to guide us as we navigate the world.

So, when the ego is seen through, this is what we could call love, although love is just a label for this as it actually is. This ‘love’ is not what most people mean by ‘love’. It is not an emotion, it includes everything that is happening, and it is not dependent on what is happening. It is un-conditional you could say. It is always here because it is none other that what is here. It is universal motion seeing through illusion. It is what is recognising what actually is.

Non-dual devotion, worship and prayer

~ Tom Das ~ 13 Comments

child praying.jpg

In advaita (non-duality), we know that the God which is devote ourselves to is not separate from us.

Also see:

Does Jnana (Knowledge) lead to Bhakti (Devotion) or the other way round?
Should I bow to Sri Ramana Maharshi?
Grace alone is of prime importance
Bhakti Yoga (love and devotion) as a complete path to liberation
Ramana Maharshi on those who mock Idol-Worship

For many purists there is no place for devotion and prayer in non-duality. But devotion has always had a prominent role in spiritual traditions, and for good reason: it can be a hugely purifying and uplifting part of spiritual practice with many positive effects on the body and mind and our relationships. (click here for how devotion can be part of a wider spiritual path)

Om! May Brahman protect us!
May Brahman nourish us!
May we have energy!
May we become illumined!
May we not hate!
Om, Shanti, Shanti, Shanti!
(A traditional invocation or prayer from the Upanishads)

Continue reading →

The Drama

~ Tom Das ~ 1 Comment

Here’s an article I wrote for naturalhealthstar.com about the stories we tell and how to deal with ‘drama’:

www.naturalhealthstar.com/general-wellness/the-drama/

[Update: the above link no longer works so I have posted the article in full below:]

I remember a great piece of advice a friend gave to me: “Drama” she said “Don’t go there. Just don’t go there. Always stay out of the drama!”.

And it was good advice. Another word that could have been used instead of drama is the word story. It’s easy to get caught up in someone else’s story or narrative. We often tell each other stories: in our interpersonal relationship, in the workplace and in the media where it is often exaggerated as spin. I’ve seen so many relationship issues that are caused by the stories people tell about each other. There is the story of blame, the how could she/he do that to me story. There is the you are a bad person story. There is the I am a bad person story, the nobody could like/love me story and the once I get promoted I’ll be happy story. Of course you could replace promoted with a few hundred other things. There is the story of victimhood , the story of perpetration, and the story of being a helper or rescuer.  I could go on.

Now, that is not to say that there are never perpetrators or victims, or that people are never to blame. There clearly are victims sometimes and sometimes people are incompetent and need to be held responsible for their actions. But being a victim, for example, is different to the drama or story of victimhood. These stories we so often tell ourselves and each other serve no useful purpose, but we can sometimes feel a sense of strength and certainty when we cling to them.

Who would we be without those stories? Would people walk all over me? Would anyone pay any attention to me? Would anyone love me?

Are any of these stories true? If so, where is the evidence, and if there evidence then is this evidence just another story? (Maybe it isn’t a story – only you know the correct answers to these questions)

So let me ask you: who would you be without your stories? Can you spot the times that you enter into other people stories about you and, for example, start to defend yourself? What stories do you tell about other people? What stories do you have about yourself?