My writings

Spiritual Relationships & Gurus

~ Tom Das ~ 7 Comments

swan heart

In my life I’ve encountered lots of different spiritual practices and philosophies, from New Age and Self-Help to Theravada Buddhism and Kashmir Shaivism. I’ve gained from almost every teaching I’ve read, some more so than others of course. But spiritual teachings have not been the things that I have found most healing in my life – it was my relationships that really helped me grow and feel whole. Specifically it was a long-term, loving and supportive relationship that helped me grow the most.

Sure, the spiritual teachings gave me insights, transcendental experiences and made me feel happier in many ways, but it was through a caring and trusting relationship that I allowed myself to open up, love and forgive myself. I was accepted in the eyes of another, and that allowed me to accept myself, to love and be kind to myself.

I was accepted in the eyes of another, and that allowed me to accept myself, to love and be kind to myself.

Much of our self-image is created through our relationships. Children learn about what is good and bad behaviour from what other people say to them and how other people react to them. They learn if they are beautiful or ugly, too fat or too skinny, clever or stupid, naughty or polite, ‘good’ or ‘bad’ – all these are learnt through what other people have fed back to them. Relationships create self-esteem – both high and low.

It seems fitting therefore, that if relationships and interactions with people can destroy a sense of self-worth, that relationship can also be beneficial in repairing a negative self-image which in turn can repair all sorts of resultant negative self-isolating coping strategies.

…if relationships and interactions with people can destroy a sense of self-worth…relationship can also be beneficial in repairing a negative self-image

In a spiritual context, I think this is where the Guru-disciple relationship traditionally has been so powerful. For those who don’t know, a Guru is simply the Sanskrit word for a spiritual teacher. Literally the word means ‘heavy’ (heavy with spiritual teaching), but a more creative etymology states that guru means ‘dispeller of darkness’ or ‘bringer of light’.

Whilst I have never had a guru (I consider life to be my guru – how new-age!), I can see how the dissemination of a spiritual teaching tradition in the context of a caring supportive relationship with a Guru could work wonders. I was always reading books in order to understand the spiritual stuff and never had that opportunity to learn at the feet of a guru – and when I did I never really trusted them anyway. In fact being near a guru, especially their feet, was the last thing on my mind in my journey. And the ones who demanded unconditional faith – that set my alarm bells ringing straight away. There have been so many gurus, both East and West, that have used, abused, manipulated and extorted their followers that it’s difficult to keep count of them.

There have been so many gurus, both East and West, that have used, abused, manipulated and extorted their followers that it’s difficult to keep count of them.

But there have been countless examples through the ages of how spiritual seekers, through simply trusting their guru, went on to attain liberation. The example of Nisargadatta Maharaj springs to mind – he trusted his guru’s advice to remain in the ‘I AM’ and after 2 years or so he was apparently self-realised or enlightened.

Traditionally in the Indian subcontinent, a guru may be someone who the family knows quite well. They would usually be male, but not always. In more ancient times the spiritual seeker would often live with the guru, perhaps even for several years before the actual spiritual teaching was taught. Up until that point they would be simply living in the forest with each other: talking, cooking, eating, working the land. They would know each other as brothers would, and in that context there was time for respect, trust and mutual affection to develop. The spiritual aspirant would be able to scrutinise the Guru and see if he truly lived his teaching, or if he only spoke of the Holy but did not embody it.

I feel nostalgic for that kind of ancient exotic guru, someone versed in the highest spiritual and meditative teachings, someone who deeply cared for me and I also cared for, someone I could give myself to and in whose love and spiritual presence I could heal myself.

But that was not, and is not my life. Instead I am thankful for my soulmate and wife, and the healing she has brought me through both the ups and downs of our relationship. Yes, I said earlier that life is my guru, but so is my wife.

Do you have a ‘guru’? Or have you had many ‘gurus’ in your life? Remember, a guru doesn’t have to be a person.

Absolute vs Relative Truth

~ Tom Das ~ 2 Comments

mountain valley light.jpg

One way of talking about spirituality is that it is that which is concerned with the ultimate truth or absolute truth. The concept is that absolute truth is universal, never changes and can be directly perceived/experienced at all times and places. It cannot be learnt or accumulated as it is always already present and known. I use various capitalised words synonymously to describe it, eg. God, Truth, Love, Wholeness, Love, the Universe. The teaching is that its perception does not require special equipment (such as a microscope or telescope) and it does not depend even on the body, mind or senses. It cannot be described and defies and transcends all concepts. Absolute truth cannot even be divided into the absolute and relative, the division being merely a conceptual one.

It cannot be learnt or accumulated as it is always already present and known.

In contrast to this, worldly knowledge can be called relative knowledge or relative truth. This includes scientific knowledge, knowledge of skills such as a sports game or knowing facts such as how tall Mount Everest is. This knowledge is relative because it does not stand alone and is only true in relation to something else. For example the height of Mount Everest depends on various factors such as defining the point from which height is measured and the unit of measurement. The height will also change over time as the mountain topography changes. In fact one of the cardinal features of relative knowledge is that it changes over time depending on specifics relating to time and place. Relative knowledge can also be accumulated and developed over time. Lastly it requires the body-mind-senses to reveal/discover it.

So to summarise we have two concepts, the relative and the absolute. The relative is concerned with those things which change. We can lump all things that change together and call it the world. This world includes the world outside us, as well as our inner world of thoughts, feelings, emotions and psychic perceptions. The absolute is that which, in theory at least, remains the same no matter what. You could call this Spirit. It is always and already known by everyone whether they know it or not.

So to summarise we have two concepts, the relative and the absolute. The relative is concerned with those things which change…The absolute is that which, in theory at least, remains the same no matter what…It is always and already known by everyone whether they know it or not.

Strictly speaking, this division into relative and absolute itself is arbitrary, but because we take ourself to be a doer, this division is provisionally made so our mistake can be corrected. Once corrected, concepts of relative and absolute disappear (we see they are also false concepts), and all that remains is this, the unnameable. But until that point, the concepts are useful teaching aids pointing one in the right direction like the proverbial finger that points at the moon: don’t worship the finger otherwise you will miss the moon in all its heavenly glory. The flip side is that once you have seen the moon, you don’t need the finger any more. Teachings are always conceptual and are to be thrown away eventually.

Strictly speaking, this division in relative and absolute itself is arbitrary, but because we take ourself to be a doer, this division is provisionally made so our mistake can be corrected.

This means, according to my definitions above, talking about and working with emotions, feelings and thought processes is still in the domain of the relative world and so is not spiritual. I would even go as far as to say as that someone who is only interested in these things remains a materialist caught in the clutches of the ego. In this teaching we place our attention beyond the body, senses and mind (including any psychic powers and mystical experiences) and discover what appears to transcend and permeate everything.

Teachings are always conceptual and are to be thrown away eventually.

Now, before I get accused of being a nihilist let me make it clear that I am not saying that we shouldn’t do worldly things. Politics, medicine, health, social work, psychotherapy, psychic work, art, music, etc, all have their place and worth. But there is something more. I sometimes call this Spirit, but you can use any word that resonates with you. Or you can use no word at all.

Through discovering that which already (apparently) transcends the world (which is the same as discovering your ‘true nature’, that which you already are) you can ‘realise’ your Natural State. It’s just noticing something that is already here, but that noticing is powerfully transformative and enables us to realise that we are already, and have always been, free.

Once [the root mistake has been] corrected, concepts of relative and absolute disappear (we see they are also false), and all that remains is this, the unnameable.

Spiritual Materialism

~ Tom Das ~ 2 Comments

diamond.png

So many spiritual seekers start off on the wrong footing, so many spiritual teachings pander to the ego. If your main aim on the spiritual path is to gain super-powers, be permanently in a state of heightened bliss or to be the next great spiritual teacher, then you are primarily interested in accumulation and possession and perhaps not as deeply interested in truth as you may think. You should know this is the ego’s desire and the spiritual path you walk is not a genuine one.

So, first ask yourself honestly – do you want truth or pleasure? You may want both, but which one do you want more? If your perception is distorted by ego and desire, then the spiritual path you are attracted to will be similarly distorted. We get the spiritual teachings we deserve.

We get the spiritual teachings we deserve.

There is nothing wrong with seeking happiness of course. It is through suffering and seeking an end to suffering that most of us become spiritually inclined in the first place. But if we are clouded by our desires and insecurities then we become susceptible to false beliefs, magical thinking, exploitation and corrupt spiritual teachings. This ‘spirituality’ is in fact another form of materialism or hedonism in a different guise: the ego is still at play.

If you can see all of this, then you already know that you are apart from it. What is it that sees? Who are you at your innermost core? All that you have accumulated will pass away: pleasure, pain, psychic powers, fame, charisma and transcendental experiences. All are finite and transient. None of them are the Eternal.

The Eternal already is. Nothing is not It.

 

Don’t believe the false sense of limitation

~ Tom Das ~ 1 Comment

hills and pool.jpg

In spiritual matters, if the first step is in the wrong direction, the whole path follows in being wrong. The very suffering it aims to quench is perpetuated by this initial mistake. Once this tiny mistake is corrected, the path becomes straight and clear and Spirit pours through. What mistake is it that I am talking of? The mistake is to think of yourself as being a limited entity.

The mistake is to think of yourself as being a limited entity.

It is like travelling on a wagon with a stone lodged on one of the wheels: the ride is bumpy and uncomfortable. And the faster you drive, the more effort you put into it, the bumpier the ride – there are no points for effort here.

Effort alone is not enough. Effort has to be skilfully directed for it to be effective. We must attack the problem directly at its root. If you take the time to stop and examine the wagon, then remove the stone from the wheel, the journey becomes smooth. Furthermore, much less effort is required to drive once the root problem is solved. Similarly we must also stop and look at our very basic assumptions about life, challenge them, see how they are erroneous and cause needless suffering and ensure they do not operate in daily life.

Effort alone is not enough. Effort has to be skilfully directed for it to be effective.

And what are these assumptions? They are primarily about our identity, our idea of ‘self’ or ‘me’ or ‘I’, also known as the ego. As long as you assume you are a limited separate entity you will consider yourself to be vulnerable to injury and death, so suffering will continue. You will seek security and pleasure, and fear uncertainty and pain.

As long as you assume you are a limited separate entity you will consider yourself to be vulnerable to injury and death, so suffering will continue.

This in turn gives rise to the notion of doership – the notion that the individual is master and controller of their thoughts and actions. There are many other concepts that we hold, often unconsciously, but all are tied to this notion of a separate ‘I’ (the illusion of separation). If that is rooted out, then all the other branches that grow from it wither and die. If the ‘I’ is left intact, then new falsehoods grow back and suffering continues.

So instead of simply ploughing forwards on a spiritual path, first try to stop and look. Find out who you really are. In terms of spiritual understanding realise that this does not mean that you accumulate more knowledge of ‘who you are’. It means that you dispel falsehoods. Find out your concepts of what you are and critique them. When all false assumptions are seen to be mistaken, then they are naturally discarded and what remains is what you are: Ultimate Truth.

So instead of simply ploughing forwards on a spiritual path, first try to stop and look. Find out who you really are…When all false assumptions are seen to be mistaken, then they are naturally discarded and what remains is what you are

This cannot be described, and need not be described. Every description is misleading, including calling it ‘Ultimate Truth’. It can only be ‘lived’ or ‘experienced’. Self-knowledge is non-conceptual; for how can the Self, what you are, be encapsulated in words? It cannot!

All descriptions of Truth have value as they may be useful pointers on the way but they should be known to be ultimately false. Hold onto helpful teachings while they are useful, then throw them away! (They fall away naturally if you let them)

THE LIGHT THAT SHINES WITHIN

~ Tom Das ~ Leave a comment

spiral.jpg

There is a light. A light that shines within. You can call it the light of consciousness. It is the light by which we can see, hear, smell, taste, touch and think. When we close our eyes and imagine something, it is also illumined by this inner light. When we imagine only darkness but are still thinking, this ‘light’ is that which ‘illumines’ our thoughts as well as the darkness. We know both light and dark because of it. It also illumines our dreams as well as our waking life.

Have you ever noticed this light, this inner light? Have you ever noticed how, peculiarly, it never changes? It is the one constant: your thoughts and opinions have no doubt changed over time; your body has grown and altered over years past; your emotions most probably fluctuate throughout the day. But the light by which you are conscious/aware of these remains the same.

Imagine yourself as a young child. Do you remember what it was like to be you back then? Try to picture a specific memory in your mind. Do you, like me, have a sense that you were basically the same person then as you are now? If so, what is it now that is the same as then? As I said, your thoughts,body and feelings have all changed over time, but something remains the same, unchanged. What is that unchanged essence? This is the inner presence-light that cannot be put into words but is always there.

That light can also be felt as a presence. Actually, it cannot be felt as anything, rather through it feeling occurs and presence is felt. For though it perceives, it cannot be perceived. For though it illumines, it cannot be illuminated/seen (just like how electricity which illumines a light bulb cannot be seen). But it is undeniably present (Please note that putting this into words makes something that is as simple as our own being seem overly complex. If you stick to your own direct experience, you will see how simple it all is).

From the point of view of your own direct experience of living, this illuminating-presence is the essence of what you are. No matter what happens to you, it is unscathed, unchanged, unharmed, unmodified.

‘Blades do not pierce it, fire does not burn it, waters do not wet it, and the wind does not parch it’
Bhagavad Gita 2.23

If you believe your thoughts and take yourself to be a limited body-mind entity, this aware-presence can be felt as something external looking down at you – it can be felt as God’s ever-present gaze lovingly embracing you.

‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’
Acts 17:28

If however you remain silent, as thoughts subside this sense of identification can fall away and you can see that this presence is actually the essence of what you already are. We can see that our true-nature is awareness-consciousness-spirit.

‘The eye with which I see God is the same eye with which God sees me.’
Meister Eckhart

Know that spirit or light within cannot be described or pinned down. It is everywhere, as light is everywhere, but it is no particular thing. Any object you can see/feel/perceive is not that spirit-light. It cannot be experienced, as it is that which allows experience to occur – it transcends experience. And while it is no particular thing and no particular experience, without it no things would be experienced. In this sense all things are dependent on it.

‘They can’t say, ‘Here it is!’ or ‘There it is!’ You see, the kingdom of God is within you.’
Luke 17:21

This is the divine essence that resides in each and every one of us. See, if you believe in God but do not have a feel for this inner spirit-light, then your god is simply a projection of your mind/thought. If however you feel this inner light, then what need have you for belief? Divine spirit is already here lighting up and animating your life. Instead learn to trust it, have faith in it – it is not a projection, but a sense of eternal unchanging presence that is always there patiently waiting, patiently supporting you. Pay attention to it throughout the day, allow it to seep into your being, engulf you and wash you clean.

‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him,and he will make straight your paths.’
Proverbs 3:5-6

Lean on Spirit, the innermost essence of you, and see what happens. Allow God to reveal herself to you. Like falling asleep, this is not something you can do, but something you have to allow to happen.

‘Abandon all varieties of religion and just surrender unto Me. I shall deliver you from all sinful reactions. Do not fear.’
Bhagavad Gita 18.66

Ultimately God is beyond all concepts and labels, even concepts of consciousness or inner light. All concepts of the ultimate dissolve in that Unnameable Reality.

 

Livestream interview with Tom Das at Buddha at the Gas Pump 23rd July 2016

~ Tom Das ~ Leave a comment

In case anyone wants to hear me talking about this stuff…I’m going to be interviewed LIVE on Buddha at the Gas Pump.

It will take place and be livestreamed on Sat 23rd July 11.30am US central time (5.30pm UK time). Click below for how to watch the livestream ❤

Upcoming Interviews

Tao Te Ching: How ridiculous!

~ Tom Das ~ Leave a comment

lotus leaf waterStop thinking, and end your problems.
What difference between yes and no?
What difference between success and failure?
Must you value what others value, avoid what others avoid?
How ridiculous!

Tao Te Ching, verse 20

Tom’s comments:

Free of thoughts, where are your problems?

We do not need to shun thought in its entirety, just not buy into the suffering it creates through comparison and moral judgement.

We can see through the values, ideals and standards that other people and society dictate to us. We can see through the received wisdom of the day.

We can let go and be real, discover who we truly are – we can discover what it is to be human for ourselves and not simply force ourselves to fit into an ideological mould, no matter how reasonable it sounds. We can be who we are.

And who are we? Are we separate from the world that gave birth to us? Are we separate from the environment that shaped and influences us? Are we wholly good or bad? 0r can good come from bad and vice versa? Can failure lead to success?

I put it to you: all things are interdependent, and no things exist by themselves.

Onwards, children of God, onwards! 🙂

 

New Online (Skype) Meetings: Non-Duality & Spirituality Meetings, London, UK

~ Tom Das ~ Leave a comment

Since starting to hold regular non-duality and spirituality meetings in London, it has been truly wonderful to meet many of you in person and share this message with you. I’d like to take this opportunity to express my thanks and gratitude for your presence and support.

It’s also been fascinating for me to see how this simple yet dynamic teaching has the potential to alleviate suffering and liberate those who come in to contact with it, and often in a relatively short space of time.

I’ve also been amazed at how many people are thirsting for this message and are really serious about finding true answers, true resolution, not just on the level of concepts and mere explanations, but on a much deeper ‘experiential’ level.

However there are some people who find it difficult to attend the twice monthly meetings in person at the Druids Head, London, so I have now scheduled online meetings via Skype. These will be in addition to the regular meetings in person in Kingston, London. Details of how to join us can be found here or here. Dates of forthcoming meetings can be found here.

I hope this allows more people to be able to hear these wonderful teachings.

For further information on other ways you can meet with me click here.

So perhaps I will see you soon, in person or via Skype.

Wishing you peace, happiness and wisdom

Tom